Beef and eel, together at last. On rice! Yeah, I ate it.

Sukiya's "eel-and-beef [donburi]" here is one of the most shameless appeals to gluttony I've seen since arriving in Japan. Taste, texture, freshness, the fundamental culinary wisdom of combining an oily fish with a fatty mammal -- the copy mentions none of these. It simply says "両方、食べたい。" -- "I want to eat both."

And why? Because there are people like me who will see such a thing and think: Hmm... now that you mention it, I kind of do want to eat both.

Sadly, I must report that this dish has very little to recommend it other than outlaw thrill. Sukiya is a fast-food chain -- high volume, low prices -- so neither the beef nor the eel have enough character to really contrast with each other. They just combine into a greasy lump of unsettlingly neutral protein.

The pinnacle of the food chain is a lonely place.