They're like pre-web banner ads. "Canned Pineapple? I'd hit it."

tarako... tarako...

I am ashamed at how long I spent trying to read that left-to-right.

Considering how much time on Japanese trains I've spent reading ads with the help of my denshi jisho, I'd be happy to see more ads with helpful furigana like that one for, what?, Pinenanpo?

They are indeed exactly like pre-web banner ads: same position on every page, demographically targeted, primary support for the magazine, and (I imagine) ignored by everyone.

Clayton: NOOOO!

Anon-0: I know, it's tempting. "Aburadarasa Kiyobi" would be a great name for a character in some Japanese Pynchon novel.

Joel: For the record:

おいしいパイン
滋養（じよう）のパイン

ボクも
ワタシも
皆（みな）鳳梨（ぱいん）
九千萬人（まんにん）
鳳梨（ぱいん）黨（たう）

パイン罐詰（かんづめ）

Note that 黨 is the older version of 党, i.e. "political party", and たう is the older version of とう... so it seems they actually claim that people are swearing allegiance to their pineapple, unless I am misreading something.

Joel,
党（tou) is not only "party" (=the political kind).
You're forgetting the numerous phrases for "a **** fan" such as "甘党" (amatou) "a sweet (food) fan" i.e. someone with a sweet tooth.

wait, why are you telling Joel? I was the one who got that wrong!