2006-03-21

Lies, all lies

The potion! It does nothing! I am ill all over again.

Clearly magic can't help me. What I need is rest. But I also have to go to work. And that involves walking. And I can't walk and be in bed at the same time!

Unless...

... THERE WAS A SLEEPING BAG
DESIGNED FOR WALKING IN!!!

And not one of those lame "really just a slightly puffier sweatsuit" pretenders, either.

The copy for this alleges that it is a way to keep safe even if attacked by a bear in your sleep, but I don't know. I sense a correlated increase in the danger of being mistaken for an enemy and kicked to death by a grotesquely swollen, spring-heeled, mushroom-popping plumber.

(Via Kayou da yo ("Yo, it's Tuesday").)

More stuff: Via Roy I learn that "Japan's cherry trees are in danger of being wiped out in a decade unless measures are taken quickly to control a mold attacking them". ("The demise of a national symbol of Japan would disappoint many," the article adds, instantly pulverising all understatementometers within six kilometers.)

It would almost be worth letting all the sakura die, just to see how extreme the very, very last hanami could get.

Popularity factor: 9

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IbaDaiRon:

"Snekhet Anubis Set weOsiris! Ankhak Imhotep! Ankhak! ... Bismallah, look, Adbul! The mummy has risen! It walks!"

"M-Master, should I extinguish the brazier of tanna leaves? I am frightened!"

"Silence, you fool! Yes, Imhotep, come to me. Yes, give me your hand and I will steady you. Yes, rest it there on my shoulder...er, no, that is my neck! Grlphlthfrk!"

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IbaDaiRon:

(Sorry for double-posting, Matt!)

Re the "demise of the saks":

Yeah, let 'em die. Then maybe we can finally move the beginning of the academic year. (The fusa-washy-ness of having entrance ceremonies in April when the saks are blooming was given as the main reason for NOT changing in a survey a few years back. Simply silly.)

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Justin:

I'm still giggling over the Mario reference. Priceless.

PS what kind of douchebag designs this sort of thing...and gets paid for it?

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Mark S.:

"The demise of a national symbol of Japan would disappoint many"

Isn't life ... disappointing?

I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Ozu.

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Matt:

IDR: Fortunately, in this picture Imhotep has no hands. (Also, where would you move the academic year to?)

Justin: Oh, come on.. like you or I wouldn't take that job in a second.

Mark: That movie kills me. Have you read Richie(?)'s translation of the script, the one that's available in book form? (I haven't, but I'm curious.)

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Anonymous:

Obviously the potion simply restored your HP without removing the sickness effect. You should have got an antidote.

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Matt:

That would explain the green bubbles over my head.

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Mark S.:

Nope, I haven't read it. They got a whole book out of the script for an Ozu movie? It has been many years since I've seen it; but the way it plays in my memory, which is probably at fault, there might well be fewer words in Tokyo Story than beeps in a Road-Runner cartoon.

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Matt:

http://www.amazon.co.jp/exec/obidos/ASIN/1880656809/

128 pages! Looks like it's padded out with essays by Richie and other non-screenplay material, though. (From memory, it's also full of pictures.) I imagine the actual screenplay is like six pages in the middle, and half of it is stage direction like "X looks ambiguously wistful".

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