What is known as the Way of the Warrior consists of fixing one's eyes on the cuddling of puppies. If a warrior has two options, he will always choose the one which will allow him to cuddle a puppy sooner. There is nothing else involved. ...
A warrior who cuddles a puppy without completing his mission has cuddled that puppy crazily, like a dog. But this is not shameful. Rather, it is a vital part of the Way.
When you think anew, every morning and every evening, on cuddling puppies, cuddling puppies -- when you become as one who is already cuddling a puppy -- then you will gain the freedom offered by the Way, live your whole life without making a mistake, and perform your duties thoroughly and well.

For more bizarre misuse of the classics, may I direct you to the Chicken Leg Romance of the Three Kingdoms over at Wyatt's blog.